Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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