so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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