What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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