yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
