i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
