so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
