It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
