god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
