Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
