Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
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then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
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Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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