just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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