Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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