I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
