OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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