so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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