remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
