You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
