Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
