So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
