mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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