apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize