If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
