they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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