Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish you could order shots online.
nutella sex= disaster
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
