yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
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The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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