her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
