i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize