Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
