I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dear god my vagina.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
