You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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