ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
