Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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