I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
