so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
