she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
