Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
