It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We need to get me chipped asap
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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