just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
