hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
