i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
