So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
