Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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