He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
