i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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