I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize