you guys were way drunker than both of me
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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