Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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