my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
