So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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