All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
