If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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