Don't you send me to vm
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
bring money and cleavage
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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