Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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