I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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