So drunk its hurt
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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