After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
