Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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