He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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