is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
