I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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