last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
